What Trojan Meant by Fire and Ice
by KittenIahaf
Summary: Natsu has been through his fair share of bad situations. In the midst of it all he falls in love with his best friend and rival, Gray. Can Natsu fully work through his issues and will Gray stick around long enough to find out? Story will have elements of drug usage, self harm, and rape. RATED MA, lemons all throughout! YAOI/BOY LOVE
1. Chapter 1 Darkness

Chapter one: Darkness

Natsu grew tired of tossing and turning and eventually ended up at the fire pit outside of the home he shared with his best friend Happy. He was staring at the fire he started and desperately trying to let go of the nightmare he had before giving up on sleep and coming outside for the night. It was the same as always. He would get drunk at the guild, Happy would fly them home and he would pass out for an hour or two before his demons would surface in his subconscious. He sighed. Atleast Happy remembered to leave the lamp on this time. Natsu felt an involuntary chill creep down his spine when he pictured the damage he caused the last time he woke up in the dark. Just a few weeks ago he forgot to put more oil in the lamp and it burned out shortly after he fell asleep. Waking up in a pitch black room had not been good for anyone. He rubbed his eyes, wiping away the tears threatening to escape. Would he always be so weak? He slammed his fist down, barely registering that it was engulfed in flames.

"Maybe one day I won't need it."

"Need what flame brain?"

Natsu jumped up and spun around, sending a punch flying before recognizing who it was. "What the fuck?! Gray? What are you doing here?"

Gray easily dodged the punch and shot Natsu a smug smile before responding "I was heading home from Juvia's and saw fire coming from this direction, I wanted to make sure it was controlled this time."

Natsu rolled his eyes. No one was going to let him live that down! The fire lasted all of five minutes before Happy barged into his room screaming and splashing water on him. The only real damage had been to his bed (not to mention his ego)and he needed a new one anyways. He quickly got it under control and Happy took responsibility for buying oil and refilling the lamps so it wouldn't happen again. He took it seriously too. Happy didn't need to know why he needed light, he just understood it was a necessity and wanted to help make sure his friend didn't freak out again. However that didn't stop the talkative blue cat from telling everyone in the guild what happened, so of course Natsu was being ridiculed.

"That was one time! When is everyone going to let that go?! And besides their MY flames I can control them, I was just caught off guard.."

"Whatever you say idiot. Still, it's three in the morning I assumed I was the only one awake in Magnolia. I saw the fire and figured I would come and be sure. Happy stayed with me for DAYS after that incident and as much as I enjoyed his company I much prefer other company if you know what I mean!" The ice mage said with a wink.

"...you're disgusting." Natsu spat.

He turned around and sat back down. Great. Just fucking great. Gray was the last person he needed to see right now. His dream was still fresh in his mind and he knew how violent he could get if he wasn't given proper time to sort through whatever fucked up thing his mind decided to remind him of. He needed to be alone and he needed it now.

"Well you've seen me, it's controlled and I'm fine. So why don't you fuck off?"

"What the hell fire crotch?! I just came to check on you!" Gray walked around to look at Natsu and figure out what the hell his problem was. As soon as he saw his face however he was immediately worried. Natsu was slightly hunched over and had his fists balled up so tightly his knuckles were white. But what scared him was the wide eyed look he had on his face. Gray knew that look, although he didn't see it often. He still knew it. Natsu was scared. Moving slowly the ice mage walked around and kneeled in front of the dragon slayer reaching his hand up to rest it on his shoulder. "Hey...You okay?" he mumbled. Never once breaking eye contact.

As soon as Natsu felt that cold hand touch him he jumped up. "Don't you fucking touch me. Don't ever touch me!" he growled in such a deep voice if Gray had not been directly in front of him he would have missed it.

Gray staggered back from the intensity of his voice, noticing his hands were still on fire but the flames were steadily getting hotter, he backed up slowly. He remembered something Happy once said on a mission. Natsu had nightmares, pretty bad ones at that. Which was why he stopped arguing about turning the lights off when they shared a room on missions, he just bought a sleeping mask and respected it was something Natsu needed. Keeping that in mind and without saying a word Gray walked around the fire and added firewood to the dwindling flame and sat down across from Natsu. On the other side of the fire, he figured that Natsu might need some space.

He took a deep breath and remembered something Ur used to tell him when they traveled together. "Ya know I used to have nightmares. Pretty bad ones actually. When Deliora k-killed my family, my friends, everyone I knew and cared about it left a scar. Not just in my heart but in my mind. Ur used to say we all have scars, and sometimes it's better to open up and tell someone what is going on." He looked up at Natsu and noticed the flames were gone and he no longer had his hands fisted up. He continued, "I know we are rivals, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you...I d-do." Natsu popped his head up tears streaming down his face.

"What? You...c-care...about ME?"

He could hardly believe what he was hearing! Gray cared about him! How long had he wanted to hear those words? How long has he been pining, waiting on a miniscule hint that the ice mage had any feelings for him whatsoever. And here he was admitting it! Granted not at all how Natsu wanted it. He imagined it would be after one of their many fights. Gray would be hot, sweaty and panting... his droopy eyes dilated and focused on just him. He would be shirtless as always and-

Natsu was interrupted by a scoff. Gray started laughing, "Of course I do, just because we fight doesn't mean I don't care! You're just a good sparring partner. The best one since Lyon isn't around much anymore. Also, you're my best friend, I mean we grew up together we're like brothers!"

Brothers... brothers...brothers. The word echoed in the dragon slayer's head. BROTHERS?! Ugh. Great the sibling zone, where romance and boners come to die. It hadn't happened to Natsu often. Only with Erza and Lucy. Yes Erza. Way too many shots of fire whiskey and Erza showing off her many armors had ended up with a bent boner and a pissed off redhead. Natsu learned the hard way that day, she does NOT like to be touched. Also she tries to hide it but she is definitely dating someone.

Natsu stood up again and turned so his back was facing Gray. Damn he didn't expect him to say he loved him but that hurt. So of course he lashed out. "Well next time you want to check on someone you care about how about you stop at home and shower first!"

Gray was stunned! He went out of his way to check on this idiot and he was complaining because he didn't like how he smelled! He stood up and came closer to Natsu stopping when he felt got close enough, he still didn't want to invade his private space. "What are you talking about you flaming asshole?!"

"I'm talking about your smell! You said you just left Juvia's right?" He turned and looked at the ice mage in disgust. "I'm a dragon slayer Ice Princess, I have a heightened sense of smell. And right now you smell like. Like.."

"Like what? Whatever it is can't be that offensive that you yell at me for trying to be nice and help yo-"

"SEX! You smell like sex and Juvia and...someone else I can't quite place. Who the hell is that? It smells kinda masculine...ugh! That's not the point! The point is next time you want to 'check' on me, keep in mind I can smell basically everything on you!"

Natsu could feel his cheeks getting hot, he turned around and tried to walk off but before he could even take a step he heard Gray start laughing.

"You can smell if a scent is masculine or feminine? That's gotta be weird. I mean yeah there was a guy, it's no secret that I am bisexual. But seriously? That's what this is about! Me having sex? What you jealous? I mean Juvia isn't that hot but I guess for a virgin like you she isn't bad. Want me to put in a good word for you? She IS obsessed with me but she knows what this is. It's not like I have feelings for her. And we have never had sex alone. She is more than okay just warming my bed every now and then and whoever I bring along is just fine with-"

Before he could finish his sentence Natsu had punched him right in the face, sending him flying backwards and into a tree. "You fucking icy bastard! How could you use her like that? She loves you! Not that you deserve it since you're willing to basically whore her out to me! You shouldn't pervert someone's trust like that, and I can't believe you of all people would do that! You don't know what that does to a person. It makes you feel like less, like your feelings don't matter. Dammit Gray it's hard for someone to break out of a cycle like that. You just keep being used thinking one day maybe he will care and eventually you begin to hate yourself. So even though it started that way, no I am not jealous of her, I pity her, she deserves way better than you."

With that he turned and ran away deeper into the woods with his entire body on fire. Gray could do nothing but sit and watch as that flame got further and further until finally he could no longer see it. Why did he even bother coming to check on that emotionally stunted idiot! He assumed Natsu would insult him and maybe they would fight for a bit but not have Natsu belittle him and then run away.

Shit he was looking forward to it, his night left him wanting more than sexual satisfaction. What he needed was a good fight. He had half a mind to chase after Natsu when it clicked. Jealous of her? What in the hell did that mean?


	2. Chapter 2 Gone

Morning found Gray sitting in the same exact spot he was in last night. The fire had died hours before hand not that he had noticed. He just kept replaying the conversation he had with the pinkette last night. What was he jealous of? He couldn't be jealous that he spent the night with Juvia! The two spent so much time together fighting and going on missions that it was almost impossible to wrap his head around. Did Natsu say the wrong thing? Maybe he meant he was jealous of Gray. The ice mage couldn't imagine Natsu being attracted to Juvia, he almost seemed annoyed when she joined Fairy Tail, and he knew her constant rain drove the dragon slayer insane seeing as he was a fire dragon and all. Now that they were friends he had warmed up to her, but she still wasn't anywhere near his favorite person.

Also why was he so shocked when he said he cared about him! Of course he cared about him. They grew up together and besides that he could hardly remember a time they weren't fighting each other, trying to prove who was the strongest. Gray was at a loss for words, he couldn't for the life of him see what was wrong with what he said last night. Okay maybe he has been being a dick about Juvia, but she seemed just fine with their arrangement. 'As long as I can have some of you Juvia doesn't care about anything else Gray-sama!' Rolling his eyes at the memory he chose not to dwell on that and think about Natsu. Deciding to get to the bottom of all his questions he stood ready to see if maybe he had gone to the guild after he calmed down.

"NATSU!" Happy frantically called from inside the house. Not a second later the tiny blue exceed was flying out the front door tears already streaming down his face. He stopped however when he saw Gray standing at the edge of the fire pit. "Gray? What are you doing here so early?" sniffing and trying to make it seem like he wasn't crying.

Gray took in his appearance before answering, tears running down his face, eyes wide and shaking. "Uh morning Happy. Natsu had a fire going pretty late last night so I stopped by to make sure everything was okay with him. But he ran off into the forest before I could really get any answers- Hey wait! Where are you going?"

Mid-explanation Happy had flown back into the house, the ice mage hot on his trail. He followed him through the house, turning his nose up at all the dirty clothes and take out boxes. How does anyone live like this? He had to stop himself from cleaning as he wandered through looking for Happy. A loud cry caught his attention and he found Happy in what appeared to be Natsu's bedroom. The bed was pushed into the corner of the room and had several scratches and burn marks all over it. But what caught his attention was what was on the middle of the bed. It appeared to some type of jewelry but was slightly obscured by a blanket. But before Gray could get a closer look Happy started to cry again.

"Happy it's going to be okay! I'm sure that he will be back, he seemed upset and maybe he just needed to cool off for a little while."

"You don't understand. You never paid attention! None of you ever really pay attention!"

Without waiting for a response he flew right out of the window and straight into the forest. Gray contemplated chasing him and then decided against it. If Natsu didn't want to stay and talk last night then he doubted today would be any different. So that decided Gray walked over to the bed, sat down and immediately regretted it. Somewhere between walking inside and going into the bedroom he had lost his shirt and his pants. For some reason it made him feel weird sitting on the dragon slayers bed with nothing but boxers on. Then he remembered the jewelry he had seen. He peeled back the blanket and was pretty surprised with what he uncovered. It was a ring. Flipping it through his fingers he noticed it was engraved, with what looked like initials 'NAJ forever'.

The 'N' could be for Natsu but he quickly pushed that thought to the side. His last name was Dragneel so the 'J' didn't make sense even though he didn't know his middle name. After inspecting the ring for a bit he got up and redressed and decided to go to the guild for breakfast, hopefully Happy would find Natsu and he could figure out what was going on.

Mira was behind the bar as usual when Gray finally arrived at the guild. It was pretty empty other than that. Cana was at a table with an empty barrel next to her probably nursing a hangover. Erza and Lucy were by the job request board, which reminded Gray that rent was due soon. He tended to forget since he had a pretty impressive savings account from hoarding his job money.

"I swear it was here yesterday! It was a job that paid 60,000 jewels which is more than enough for me to make rent this month and then some. I thought it would be perfect for the team to take on, but now its gone!" Lucy was whining to Erza so Gray walked over to see for himself. "Morning Erza, Lucy. What's going on?"

"Lucy says there was a job posted just last night that she wanted the team to take on but it's gone."

"Well we can ask Mira who was here early enough to have taken it. Hey Mira! Who was in the guild this morning?"

Mira looked thoughtful for a moment before responding "Well Laxus came in to see the Master, and Levy came in to go the library with Gajeel following diligently behind her. Oh! Natsu was here too. He snuck in pretty early and looked at the board for awhile, he did ask me not to say anything but he took an easy job and left. Something about a missing dog. But that was it!"

Lucy's eyes widened and she yelled, "Missing dog?! That jerk took the job I wanted!"

"Missing dog? That's what you wanted us to do? How is that worth 60,000 jewels?" Erza said trying to hide her apprehension on such an easy sounding job.

"It wasn't a normal dog! The owner apparently had been placing spells on the dog to make him stronger, he was planning on using him as protection for his farm but something went wrong. The dog snapped and started to attack the townspeople." Lucy had begun pacing back and forth which made the other two a little nervous.

If Natsu had indeed taken this job by himself then he could get hurt! Gray thought back to last night and how angry Natsu was before he ran off. Happy had gone looking for him and the way he flew into the forest made Gray think that he knew where he would be going. "Do either of you know where Natsu goes when he is upset? Happy ran after him into the forest this morning, so if Happy did see him then we might be able to catch up to him before that flame brain gets himself killed."

"No but I bet Lisanna would know. Apparently they had some little house they made when they were kids, he used to go there a lot when she disappeared."

"Good idea Erza!"

As if on cue Lisanna and Happy walked through the front door of the guild, looking sad and kinda angry at the same time. It was weird because Gray honestly couldn't make his mind up about her. On one hand she was a member of Fairy Tail and he had missed her when she disappeared, but on the other hand the second she came back she was all over Natsu like she owned him. It was a few months before he got to fight him how he wanted to and even then Lisanna always pulled Natsu away before it got too serious. He knew just as well as everyone else that they had a thing for each other when they were kids, but she could be so overbearing. Gray was so lost in his thoughts he didn't even see Lisanna coming near him until it was too late. She cocked her hand back and slapped him. "How could you be so clueless?!" Gray opened his mouth to ask what the fuck that was all about but she cut him off before he could say anything. "Don't bother looking for him. Happy and I tried to reason with him, we tried to calm him down. I haven't seen him like this in years! And all because of one conversation with you he is spiralling again!" Again before he could say anything she stomped over to Mira and started crying.

Lucy was holding Happy as he tried to explain what happened starting with his morning with Gray. "...Gray said he went into the forest so I went after him. I went to all of his favorite places. The lake, that tree that has the tire swing. But by the time I found him he was already talking to Lisanna and decided to leave. He ran so fast I couldn't keep up with him." All of a sudden Happy's face got serious, "Erza... he is dreaming about them again."

Erza shot Happy a knowing look and patted the exceed on the head.

"Don't worry Happy we will find him and bring him home in one piece. I promise you that."

"But Erza we don't know where he went..." Gray didn't want to be the one to say it but someone had to be realistic. Without the job request how were they supposed to know where to go? He did however know that they needed to try. An angry Natsu is a reckless Natsu, and a reckless Natsu always got hurt. Bad. "And also who and what is he dreaming about?" He didn't want to ask and almost as soon as the words left his mouth he regretted it. "Fucking idiot."

"Lisanna!" Mira exclaimed. "You know that Natsu didn't tell everyone what happened to him! Now I am not saying you're wrong for being a little unhappy with Gray but that language is not like you! He will be okay and in the end you will be mad at yourself for talking to Gray that way!"

"What do you mean everyone doesn't know? What happened to him? When?" Gray was getting worried. He didn't know much about Natsu's personal life even though the guy was pretty much an open book, Gray had a habit of tuning him out unless they were fighting. Looking around his group of friends Gray had never felt like such an outsider.

Nobody seemed to want to answer him as they turned to Lucy to see what she remembered about the job flyer. She remembered the town name so they began making plans to head out. "If we take the train we should make it there in two days, Natsu won't have taken the train not with his motion sickness so we should beat him there" Lucy reasoned.

"Okay team, here's the plan. Meet back here in half an hour, we should be able to catch the train by then!" Erza said and then turned and walked away.

"WHAT?!"

"What are the odds of them having no trains going that way today at all?"

Gray sauntered over to Lucy and Erza with his bag on his back. "Well it's only a three day journey if we walk, with any luck we will get there before he actually has to do any fighting." Happy nodded his head agreeing with the ice mage, "We don't have time to sit and wait, let's start walking!"

With that the team turned around and headed onto the trail heading out of Magnolia. Erza in the lead with Lucy and Happy directly behind them. The ice mage needed a second, his thoughts were still swimming with his last conversation with Natsu. What the heck is happening, he thought, I am no closer to understanding why he reacted to me like that and now he is just gone? He couldn't wait to get his hands on that stupid man! He had some explaining to do, not just about why he ran off but also who is he dreaming about that is making him have nightmares? Does it have to do with the ring Gray found on his bed? Deciding to stop driving himself crazy with questions he couldn't answer right now, he followed behind the girls. Hopeful that Natsu didn't get himself into any trouble before they caught up with him.

Thankfully they always carried sleeping bags with them when they traveled since they never knew if Natsu would be okay on a train ride or not. After traveling for half the day they found a decent sized clearing and made camp for the night. Erza and Lucy set their sleeping bags on either side of Gray and Happy placed himself at the end of Lucy's seeking comfort since his best friend was gone. Once Gray felt the area was secure he drifted off into a restless sleep, filled with pink hair and unanswered questions.


	3. Chapter 3 Visitors

Natsu woke up feeling a little bit better than the day before. Camping and being outside in the elements always calmed him down, the fresh air and sleeping under the stars with a fire roaring the entire night just had an effect on him he could never ignore. He was still a little ways away from the job he had decided to take, but he knew space between himself and home was the best thing for him when he felt overwhelmed like he had yesterday. He had contemplated turning around and going to see his therapist but remembered why he stopped going in the first place. Dr. Frank told him he was making progress. He cut their sessions from one hour once a week to half an hour every two weeks, so eventually he just stopped showing up. He regretted it a little because not many people knew about his past and it was hard to open up about in the first place. Hell Lucy and Erza only knew because of a drunken night they had together for Lucy's birthday the year before.

Stretching and deciding to get some food before setting out for the day he walked around looking for something edible. He had some dried fish in his pack as well as some trail mix, but he wanted to save those just in case he needed them later. He found some wild mushrooms he thought he could make something with later but nothing else in his immediate vicinity. After packing his bag he sniffed and followed his nose to a tree that had oranges and took a couple of them. Some for now and some for later. He began to peel one and started to walk again, letting his thoughts drift as he walked. Natsu still didn't understand how Gray could be so inconsiderate as to come to his house smelling like he did! He took a deep breath, there was no one around for a few miles, so he decided to do what his therapist had once recommended. He always felt better after saying his thoughts, fears and concerns out loud, so he started talking while he walked.

"Stupid ice pansy. Why would you not take a shower before going somewhere after sex? That was the one rule I fully understood from them...the one thing we never fought over. It's not like it's hard. If Juvia is so in love with him she wouldn't have minded, it would have given her more time with 'Gray-sama'" he said in a disgusted tone. "Ugh..maybe I did overreact a little, it's not like Gray knows how I feel about him. Hell he said I was like a brother, I don't think he would ignore my feelings if he did know about them. Clearly he has no issue fucking Juvia and she's insane. Okay she isn't insane but love at first sight is a load of bullshit!"

Natsu knew in his heart he stayed away from Gray to protect him, but it was hard when he had real feelings for the ice wizard and Juvia fell in love after literally laying her eyes on him. But Gray chose Juvia to spend his nights with, not Natsu. Gods he really was jealous of her! He knew intellectually that he shouldn't be, the way Gray talked about her last night confirmed that, but the dragon slayer preferred to run on impulse. Besides she got to see a side of Gray that he believed he would never get to, and it really hurt him.

"Maybe I should turn around and go home..." Natsu stopped walking and leaned against a tree. "I did leave really fast and Happy has to be worried about me. Lisanna too." Natsu blushed at the thought. Lisanna had caught him in their old "house" sulking and crying. She didn't say a word at first, just walked over to him calmly sat down and put her arms around him. He got so caught up in the comfort he didn't realize she was talking to him until she said a name he didn't ever want to hear again.

FLASHBACK

"Don't! I don't want to talk about them Lis!" He pulled away from her and walked to the other side of the hut. She stayed quiet for a few minutes just taking in his appearance. Once she felt he had calmed down again she walked over and wrapped her arms around him again. Natsu leaned in enjoying her natural vanilla scent and soft skin. "Gray came over to check on me last night...he smelled like other people and I kinda freaked out on him. I had another nightmare last night and was outside to get some fresh air and he walked up smelling like Juvia of all people. Why can't he tell how I feel? You were able to figure it out!"

Lisanna didn't hesitate before responding. "Because you once looked at me like that. Like the sun rose and set with me. I would know that look anywhere Natsu, no matter how much time has passed." Natsu looked up at her face for a second momentarily feeling bad for her. When she came back it just wasn't the same, he had already met them, lost them and had long since fallen for Gray. Lisanna recognized his change of heart and didn't press the issue. But she was also the first person he opened up to about what he had gone through. She couldn't blame him for feeling differently towards her, afterall he thought she was dead. "Natsu? I don't want to upset you, so let me finish before you respond. You have had a hard time when it comes to love." She felt him tense up in her arms but kept going anyways. "You said so yourself that true love scares you. When you feel a fire in your heart it consumes you too fast for you to focus on anything else. Maybe it is for the best that he doesn't know. What if he told you he felt the same? Would you be able to protect him and protect your heart?"

Natsu sat very still for a few minutes. Would he? He had stayed away from anything remotely romantic because he knew he had issues. Sure he had one night stands, and a few fuck buddies, issues aside he still had a very active sex drive. But he wasn't sure if he was ready for commitment, not again. "I don't know Lisanna. I really don't. I think I'm gonna go on a job, just me. I need time to think, I have to get away from him. I slipped up and said I was jealous of her last night, and I don't know if he heard it or not, but I need to prepare myself in case he did." Natsu suddenly jumped and crouched in front of Lisanna ready to pounce. After taking a few sniffs he calmed down and realized he smelled Happy. Fuck. Now he might never be able to leave.

"Natsu! Oh...hey Lisanna! What happened Natsu, Gray said you stormed off last night and we didn't know where you went! He stayed all night hoping you would come back! Did you have another nightmare? I told him that you sometimes run off when you need time to think, but when I left he didn't follow me. Did you two have a fight?"

"Yes Happy I had a nightmare...wait. You said you told him this is what i normally do when im upset and he let you go off by yourself!? That asshole! He doesn't care about me, there's no way he does! Not only did he watch me run off last night, he also let you run off this morning and didn't follow you! Fuck this Lisanna I'm leaving! I will be back in a few weeks."

Not waiting to hear them argue with him like he knew they would he took off running ignoring their pleas for him to stay.

END FLASHBACK

Natsu grimaced at the memory and took a detour, somewhere in this part of the woods he knew there was a cabin that he used to visit quite frequently. He wasn't sure if she would be home, but he knew if she was it could be the distraction he needed from his thoughts. Her name was Sarah, and Natsu met her at a lifestyle meeting the same lifestyle meeting that changed how life forvever. She was one of the few that truly knew Natsu during that time of his life and was actually who found him roaming the forest afterwards. He broke into a sprint feeling almost desperate for a release and for a good talk. She was a wizard but Natsu had never seen her use her powers. Like Natsu she had been in a rather traumatizing relationship and seldomly used her magic anymore. He sniffed the air and knew he was getting close to her cabin, he could still smell the combination of lavender and tea leaves on her and felt his body relaxing bit by bit until he was right in front of her door. Just as he went to knock the door swung open and he was face to face with the woman of his current desires.

Sarah was a head shorter than Natsu with waist length bright green hair and golden eyes. She looked the same as he remembered. She still wore an oversized top that had such a deep V you could see the lace bra she wore, more for appearances than for any actual support. Her shirt was tucked into a black skirt that stopped halfway in the middle of her thighs, showing off the pair of thigh highs she always wore. Just as he remembered she was pleasantly plump and he greedily ran his eyes over her busty chest and shapely curves. He was panting as she returned the favor looking him from top to bottom, eyes stopping over his growing bulge. Without saying a word she grabbed his hand and led him inside, Natsu closing the door with his foot on the way in. As soon as the door was shut she attacked him, kissing him so hard it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. He brought his arms around her and picked her up slamming her into the closed door and gripping her ass so tight she pulled away to moan. Not to be outdone she began nibbling and biting on his neck remembering the spots that made the dragon slayer groan in appreciation. "Fuck I've missed you Natsu. Why don't we skip the foreplay and head straight to the bedroom?"

Natsu nodded his head and slipped off his sandals and began kissing her again. Slowly but deliberately walking in the direction he knew her room to be in. Once inside he placed her on the bed and backed up to admire her. They both knew that there could only ever be sex between them but Natsu didn't like her feeling like she was being used and besides, the woman was fucking beautiful. She wiggled out of her clothes never breaking eye contact with Natsu. Fuck she swore she could come just from him watching her, his eyes were squinted so intense and you could practically see the lust rolling off of his body. She started to take off her thigh highs when a growl stopped her.

"Leave them on. I wanna fuck you wearing those." Natsu stripped faster than he could ever remember doing in his entire life. How long had it been since he had sex? A month, two? Either way he didn't want to waste precious time. He crawled over her and pinched her left nipple between his fingers enjoying the way she arched her back pushing her ample breasts further into his face. Taking the invitation he pulled the other nipple into his mouth licking and sucking, biting exactly how he knew she enjoyed it. Keeping his hands on her breasts he trailed his tongue in between them and made his way down to between her thighs kissing and licking the entire way. He spread her legs apart and gave her one long lick on her core. Reaching down with one hand he placed one finger at her entrance and slowly pushed his way inside relishing in the moan she released as a reward for his efforts. When she felt adequately stretched he added a second finger. Remembering what she taught him he curled his fingers inside her pumping slowly and began licking and sucking on the pearl between her legs. He could smell her arousal growing with every second passing. She gave direction every now and then 'faster' or 'harder' and he was more than happy to oblige, she still smelled heavenly and Natsu knew if he were to die in this moment he would be happy. Enjoying the way her breathing got heavier until finally she came screaming his name and clenching the sheets. She slowly and shakily sat up with a small smile on her face, "Do you want me to take care of you?"

"No Sarah you know I do that for you to prepare you. I wouldn't want you to get hurt again." Natsu gently put his hands under her hips and coaxed her to flip over and then tugged her by the waist to place her on her knees with her ass in the air. He couldn't help himself as he bent down and put his face in between her cheeks. There really was nothing in the world like her smell and he could easily drown himself in it. Giving himself a few quick pumps he pushed two fingers inside her wanting to cover his fingers in her fluids. The first time they had sex they had rushed and she had gotten hurt. Remembering that, he fingered her a little while longer before covering his dick with her fluids and placing the tip at her entrance. Natsu placed his knees on the bed and gave one quick thrust, burying himself as deep as he could inside her tight passage. She moaned his name loudly, half with pleasure and half with pain. Just how he liked it. He let her get comfortable with the intrusion and set the pace before he began to move. He dug his hands into her hips and began to build speed not wanting to hurt her but not able to hold still. Nothing felt this good, he could literally feel her walls contracting around him. She told him once that she practiced with Kegel Balls and he couldn't help but feel thankful to whoever invented them because it was always amazing.

"I d-don't think I'm going to last long..." He grunted out picking up speed again. They were both sweating and a mess of half moans and half demands came out of her mouth. "Fine...ju-jus-just go mmmm please faster. HARDER!" she screamed at him. Natsu smiled and leaned back a bit, regripping her waist letting his fingers sink into her curves and really letting loose. He pounded into her so hard her headboard was smashing into the wall and the entire bed was moving. He could feel her contracting around him again and he knew he wanted her to come again first. So he raised one hand to his mouth and licked it before reaching around her to play with her pearl again. The other hand gathering her hair up and pulling so her back arched more and her head was up. Her moans immediately got louder and she started panting his name. Natsu could feel his balls getting tighter and knew there wasn't much time before he came to his end. Moving his hand faster and slamming into her so fast she stopped moaning and literally screamed his name, he felt her come and tightened on him so hard it forced his orgasm. She collapsed forward and he came on her backside covering her beautiful ass and those wonderful thigh highs in his come.

Natsu admired the view for a few seconds before he got up and grabbed a towel from the linen closet and wiped himself off before giving her attention. He made sure to clean up all of it so she wouldn't be sticky. He scooped her up in his arms and placed her in the chair near the window before changing the sheets for her and then carrying her into the bathroom. She didn't say a word but had a smile on her face as he washed the two of them. He knew the importance of after care and took it seriously. Once she was clean and in a fresh set of clothing he set her on the bed in front of him and began brushing her hair with a brush he found in the bathroom.

"I always look forward to your visits Natsu." She purred. "Though I wish it hadn't been so long since I last saw you. I get rather lonely out here with no one to talk to. But that's a story for another day. How are you, and don't bullshit me. I always know when you're lying."

Natsu rolled his eyes and sighed but told her everything. From the dream he had to Gray coming up to him and then eventually him leaving.

"Hmm you know I should be upset that you didn't come this way just to see me but I suppose it can't be helped. How frequent are you dreaming about them?"

"Almost every night, but the weird thing is that they're not all nightmares. Maybe like 50/50? I sometimes don't even see their faces but I know it's them. I can smell them. I can hear their voices as if they were standing right next to me. The worst one is a time we all went to the movies. I was walking in between them and we were all holding hands and laughing about some silly scene. Then all of a sudden they stop laughing and when I look at them they aren't laughing anymore but crying, and asking me why? Why did you do it? And then I'm alone. It's pitch black but I can still hear them crying, asking me why I didn't love them enough to not hurt them."

Sarah shifted in between his legs and spun around to face him. "You know as well as I do that your relationship with them was far from perfect. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the reason you see a happy memory before they start accusing you could just be your head succeeding in making you feel more guilty? I am not saying what happened wasn't partly your fault, we both know you had a part to play. But just like we have talked about, trust is important in this lifestyle. And they didn't trust you. Fireplay is tricky, and everyone should have been on their guard. You can't fully blame yourself for them not taking it seriously. I have seen what your flames can do Natsu. They should have been paying attention."

She looked up and noticed that he had begun to cry. "Natsu baby let it out. You know I will never judge you, never leave you. You have me forever and ever. Whatever you need. I need you just as you need me." She tugged him towards her and he fell face first into her chest. Sniffling a few times before fully laying down and pushing her back to get more comfortable.

"Can I stay a few days? I know I said I had a job to do but I think I should stay here for a few days and collect my thoughts. Taking a job in my current state I think I would do more harm than good."

Sarah said nothing but she nodded her head. She got up and walked around the bed pulling the blankets back she motioned for him to get under the covers and cuddled up to him. "You stay as long as you need. This is a judgement free zone. You're safe here Natsu."

Gray woke up feeling very well rested. Looking around he noticed they had slept in later than they normally do when traveling. Happy was looking around and sniffing like crazy and it put him on edge. "Yo Happy! What is it? Do you smell someone?"

Happy's head snapped up. "I don't know. My nose isn't as good as Natsu but it almost smells like he is close to here. And over there it looks like a footprint from his sandals. Maybe he is around here."

Erza at that point had joined them and was looking as well. "I mean it definitely could be him. Is the smell strong enough that you could follow it? He doesn't seem to be heading towards the job any longer because it's the opposite direction that Natsu seems to be heading towards."

Happy nodded his head "Aye! If i lose the scent I will tell you!"

The exceed put his nose to the ground and started walking towards where he believed the smell to be coming from. Gray couldn't believe it. So the flame brain takes off without saying anything at all and then doesn't even go to the job he took! They could almost be there by now helping someone and getting the reward for it! But instead they're following what could be his scent through a thick ass forest and Gray was honestly getting mad. "Look! It looks like he camped here last night! That's exactly how he makes his fire pits and all the extra wood so it won't go out throughout the night! It goes this way come on!"

The team grumbled but followed behind him he seemed to know where he was going and every now and then he would stop and look around.

They walked for what felt like forever but was honestly maybe an hour before they came across a cabin. Being members of Fairy Tail they hid behind some trees and scoped the place out before getting any closer. Lucy spoke up first "what's a cabin doing in the middle of these woods? There's nothing around for miles. I can't imagine living out here."

Gray was thinking the same thing, but Happy was looking at the cabin and focusing so hard he thought he would explode. "NATSU!" Happy yelled.

Almost instantly the cabin door swung open and a very pissed off woman stood in the doorway. Gray took in her appearance and immediately liked what he saw. She's cute! But boy does she look mad!

"Who dares invade my private property?!" The mystery lady screamed and slowly took a step forward.

At this point they came out from behind the trees, they were caught at this point so there was no longer a reason to hide. "We are looking for our friend!" Happy said. He stood tall staring at the strange woman, although Gray could see he was shaking a little bit.

"Your friend? No one comes through here. Except for people who know where to look! Now leave this place!" Not waiting for an answer she turned around to go back inside. Erza who had been oddly quiet took offense to this and requipped saying "Happy says our friend is here and we're not leaving until we find him!"

"Yeah! We're members of Fairy Tail! We don't abandon our friends!" Lucy was already reaching for her keys.

Suddenly the woman jumped back "Did you say Fairy Tail?"

Gray chuckled "Oh have you heard of us? It's too late now! You don't wanna tell us what we wanna know then fine! We will just have to beat it out of you! Ice make-"

Before he could get the words out a blast of fire came from inside the house. The woman stepped aside and a very pissed off Natsu was standing in the doorway. Head down and eyes narrowed, his fists were flames and his voice was a growl as he said "Who the fuck are you and why are you attacking my friend? I WAS FINALLY GETTING SOME SLEEP! Somebody better have some goddamn—Happy? Erza? What are y'all doing here?" The dragon slayer looked around confused. One minute he was sleeping soundly the next he heard yelling.

"What are WE doing here? No what the fuck are you doing here? You took a job and stopped at some random bitches cabin instead of actually going to the town?" Gray couldn't believe his eyes. He was angry earlier but he was still worried about him. And of course seeing the creepy cabin in the middle of the woods didn't help the situation. He thought he was in trouble!

Natsu let his flames die before responding quietly. "I was going to the job. Then i remembered Sarah lived nearby and decided to pay her a visit. It's… been awhile." Sarah plastered a smile on her face and stepped closer grabbing Natsu's hand and rubbing his arm with her free hand. "Natsu baby you don't have to explain. This is partly my fault. You know how I feel about visitors." She smiled brightly at the 'visitors' in question "Natsu dear is a good friend of mine, we have quite a history together. He was sleeping so soundly and I didn't want him to be interrupted but that doesn't excuse my rudeness. I apologize! I've heard a lot about you and I hate that my first impression was me being nasty to you. Would you like to come in?"

"Fuck no-!"

Gray tried to deny but Erza caught him in the back of the head. "Did you say your name was Sarah? I have heard of you! It's so nice to finally put a face to the name. We would love to come in!"

Sarah looked at Natsu coyly while the dragon slayer tried his hardest to hide his blush. "You talk about me do you? Oh you naughty boy what stories have you shared?"

At this point all eyes were on them. Shocked. Naughty boy? Did she really say that? Gray couldn't tear his eyes off of the two as Natsu stood there as if he were frozen to the ground and Sarah looked at him as if he were prey.

"Well do come in I am sure you have questions." She said locking eyes with Gray. Gray didn't back down he stared right back at her as he walked up to the front door. Only when he got a few feet in front of her did she tug Natsu into the house and let them inside.


	4. Chapter 4: History

Natsu sat down on the chair closest to the fire, and Sarah took a seat on his lap wrapping his arms around the front of her waist. She waited for everyone to sit down before speaking "So, I take it Natsu baby took off because he got upset and didn't let anyone know where he was going? Am I correct?"

Ezra nodded "Happy here tried to stop him as well as Lisanna but when he gets his mind set on something that's pretty much it."

Sarah laughed and said "That's my Natsu dear. So high strung. And did you say Lisanna? I Didn't realize you two were still so close! Thats nice to know…"

Natsu's grip unconsciously tightened slightly around her, "You know it's not like that anymore. I told you, I don't have feelings for her! I couldn't even if I wanted to." He looked straight into the fire and mumbled, counting backwards from ten, while she patiently waited for him to finish. His grip loosened on Sarah as he got to one. She smiled, "Oh I know but I could never get the full story about you two, however I know she looked similar to Amara."

"Why do you always insist on saying their names?"

Erza and Lucy both straightened up and stared at Sarah in shock, she said the name and Natsu was being surprisingly calm about it. Who is this woman? He had mentioned her in passing a few times but Natsu clearly was pretty comfortable around her considering she was still sitting on his lap and was now leaning back against him playing with his hair. Meanwhile Gray felt like he was going to explode. He was trying to be respectful to his host but now he just had more questions. It seemed like this Amara was someone important to Natsu and then it dawned on him. Amara, that could be one of the initials from the ring he found!

Natsu let out a sigh and lifted her off of his lap before standing up and stretching. "Okay well I guess just do whatever you want but I need some air. Happy there's a river close by, wanna go fishing? I have some old poles out back." Happy grinned, "Aye sir!"

The pair took off leaving Erza, Lucy and Gray with Sarah, the mystery woman. Gray needed to calm himself down and asked where the bathroom was. She pointed down the hall and he excused himself. As soon as he was in the bathroom he shut the door and splashed some water on his face. Who the hell is this Sarah person? Why does she keep calling Natsu baby? Steeling his resolve to get answers, today, he blindly reached for a towel and dried his face. Upon further inspection he noticed he was using Natsu's boxers. Ugh what the fucking fuck?! Why the fuck did he have boxers hanging on the towel rack? Storming out of the bathroom with them in his hands he yelled "Okay, who are you to Natsu? What is going on? How did he know to come here and who is Amara? And why did I just dry my face off with a pair of his boxers?"

Sarah looked at him clearly amused and motioned for him to sit down. "I will tell you what I can without breaking Natsu dears trust. But remember no questions, I will not tell his story for him. Erza, Lucy? Natsu tells me he has told you bits and pieces but what I am about to say will only cut out the ending. Please try not to be angry with him for not telling you the entire thing. The only reason I know all of it is because I was there. Would anyone like tea? It's a long story and I fear my throat will hurt before I am done."

She made her way over to the small kitchen and filled a tea kettle with water and set it on the stove, grabbing four mugs from the cabinet she began her story.

"I first met Natsu a few years ago at a BDSM lifestyle meeting…"

"What?! The flame brain is into BDSM?" Before Gray could even get his laugh out Sarah was an inch in front of his face and he couldn't move. "Don't ever mock Natsu in my presence. That man has been through more than you know and he deserves kindness, not mocking." Gray involuntarily shivered at the look in her eyes, she looked down right murderous. He slowly nodded his head and muttered an apology. She smiled and straightened back up.

As suddenly as she was directly in front of him, she was again in the kitchen.

"Okay, as I was saying, I met him at a BDSM lifestyle meeting. We used to have meetings once every other month to share stories and experiences. As well as to make sure people were being safe. The first time I saw him, he was sitting in the back with his head down but I noticed he kept making eyes at Amara. The meetings normally are taught by someone who has a lot of experience in the lifestyle as a whole, and that week it just so happened to be Amara's boyfriend. We all called him J. Amara noticed that as J was teaching his eyes kept wandering to the back of the room, so she followed his line of sight and saw Natsu. She wasn't exactly shy so when the meeting ended she made her way to the back of the room. At this point it is necessary to tell a bit of Natsu's backstory. But please remember no questions. After Natsu was abandoned by Igneel, he was taken in by a family in a nearby village. They had made it a habit to pick people up not only to give them a place to stay but also to help on the family farm. This was about a year before he ended up at Fairy Tail. One of the men who lived with Natsu was in charge of taking care of the animals, and as I am sure you know Natsu has a weakness for animals. Natsu volunteered to help him out and over time they became close. So close that he called him uncle. Well that uncle one evening decided to be even closer and molested Natsu. Continuing almost every night for six months, telling him that if he told anyone that he would be kicked out and homeless again. So Natsu kept quiet. Eventually the owner of the farm caught him and now he is serving a well deserved sentence in jail. Natsu was told that that was not a healthy or normal relationship and from what I was told your Master helped him work through most of those issues. But of course he still has issues with intimacy. Trauma recognizes trauma and Amara saw a kindred soul in him."

The kettle began whistling and Sarah began to prepare the tea. She set everything up at the table and motioned for them to move over. Once everyone was situated and content she began again.

"Where was I? Oh yeah. Amara had similar issues when we were younger so I guess part of her noticed that look in his eyes. She opened up to him and told her it was part of the reason she turned to BDSM in the first place. After that they became fast friends. He was staying in town on an extended mission so they spent a lot of time together. Eventually Natsu told her that he had been staring at her that evening because she reminded him of Lisanna. She didn't mind at all, in fact she was flattered that he thought she resembled his childhood love interest. In the spirit of being honest, she told him that her boyfriend J was one of the main reasons she had reached out to Natsu in the first place. J had a specific kink, and that was he enjoyed watching her with other people. At first Natsu was kinda angry, he felt betrayed and like she was using him. She told him that wasn't the case. She always chose who he watched her with he just had the final say in it. Eventually it began to excite him, thinking that when he was in public with her there was always someone watching. They had some intense make out sessions in public and as the two became closer things turned more physical. Fast forward a few weeks Natsu finished his job and had to return to Fairy Tail. The day before he left he opened up to Amara about being curious about his sexuality and asking if J would possibly like to join them. She was immediately excited and arranged for them all to meet up. That to my knowledge was the first time they were all together, but it certainly wasn't the last time. He started coming by more and more frequently, anytime he had a job in the area he would come and stay with them. They became an official couple and everything. Even going as far to get matching promise rings." She stopped to take a few sips of tea, staring into the distance as if she was reliving this time of their lives.

Gray gasped. Of all the things he thought of a polygamist relationship with a man and a woman were the last thing on his mind. He remembered the time frame she was talking about because for almost a full year Natsu would take jobs with the team and almost immediately say he was going on a solo mission and come back much later but never with any money. He never explained where he went but would complain that he needed money until the team headed out again. Well atleast now it all made sense. He snuck a look at Lucy and Erza and noticed they didn't look bothered by any of this information. So they knew all of this? How the hell did they keep it a secret?

"They were together as a trio for a little over a year before the incident that broke them up. Natsu was never the same after that but he reached out to me and I couldn't turn him away. Around the same time Natsu went through this I went through a bad break up myself. And even though Amara is my sister, I knew that she was in the wrong."

That part shocked all of them, "Amara is your sister?" Gray couldn't help but ask her. He assumed by how close they were that things had gotten physical between them. Was Natsu sleeping with his ex girlfriend's sister?

"Yes. Amara is my baby sister. I know what it sounds like. And before you ask, yes, me and Natsu are lovers. We both have pretty specific needs when it comes sex and based on your reaction to him being interested in BDSM I can see why he hasn't told anyone else what he likes."

"I can speak for both myself and Lucy when I say I see no issue with what you do." Erza was no longer making eye contact with anyone but was stirring her tea slowly. "People who go through a trauma, of any kind, but especially in a sexual nature may turn to BDSM. Some need to feel in control of what is happening to them, while others may need to have the opposite. It can be as small and non sexual as being told what to eat for the day or complete control over every aspect. While some situations call for sexual dominance. It differs for each person though."

"Yeah I can get that, either way this is alot to take in. I feel like I am getting a whole different side to Natsu than I know. I mean I knew he had issues with intimacy, hell I thought he was still a virgin, but this is crazy." Gray looked at Sarah and hoped she would explain further.

"You're right Gray and I am sorry that I had to be the one to tell you. I told Natsu that i would never tell anyone his story to harm him. But we have an agreement that if I or him are acting out of character or hurting ourselves that we will reach out to those closest to us and explain, so that we can get help. Amara and I don't speak anymore because she knows I blame her for what happened." Sarah looked up at Gray with sad eyes, "perhaps now that you know what he went through you can help him. He really cares for you, more than you know."

Before Gray could ask what she meant Happy and Natsu came in the front door, holding up a basket full of different fish. "Shit Sarah I forgot how good the lakes are around here since no one ventures this far into the forest! What do you say I cook some of these up for us, it's about lunch time now!"

Gray looked up at Natsu and saw the biggest grin on his face. He replayed what he was told and for the first time he could actually tell that Natsu's smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Sarah stood and walked over to him and replied "Sure Natsu baby, your cooking supplies are still out back in the shed, why don't you get the fire started and we will meet you boys out there?"

Natsu took off out back without another word. Already you could hear him and Happy singing about how much fish they were going to eat.

Gray was about to head out and join them when he realized he did in fact have a question. He knows that Sarah said she wouldn't answer any but he had to know. "What do you mean when you say Natsu cares for me more than I realize? I know you said no questions, but he said something the other night that really confused me, Natsu doesn't have feelings for me...does he?"

Instead of answering she shot him a sad smile and walked outside joining Natsu and Happy by the fire. Gray stayed rooted in his spot, watching as she walked over to Natsu and wrapped an arm around the dragon slayers waist. He couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as Natsu smiled down at her and kissed her on her forehead before watching Happy roast some of the fish for their lunch. It just looked so natural. Who would have thought that Natsu, brave little Natsu who was always fighting other peoples battles would in reality be so broken. He was quick to stand up for any friend, or lend a helping hand. He was fiercely protective of anyone he cared about, especially if he considered them family.

The ice mage could remember countless times he stood up for him, hell even Erza, and all that time he was fighting some dark demons that virtually no one knew about. It made him look at Natsu in a brand new light, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Sighing he decided to join in, his thoughts still going crazy, he would just have to wait to get Natsu alone and ask him about it then.


	5. Chapter 5: Answers

The group sat around the fire and ate to their hearts content. The fish was actually pretty good and Natsu added some of the wild mushrooms he had collected earlier so everyone was feeling pretty full. Happy had fallen asleep cuddled in Natsu's arms so Gray was contemplating asking Natsu some questions about what he was told. One glance at the dragon slayers face told him that he was relaxed and happy so he thought he could Atleast try. "Natsu." Sarah spoke up before Gray could even form what question he wanted to ask. "Do you remember the agreement we made? You've gotten wreckless again, and clearly the dreams are bothering you. I told your team what happened with Amara and J. As well as what happened with your first family after Igneel" Natsu gave her a relieved look and sighed. "I guess y'all have questions. But before you say anything i would like to explain."

Natsu stood up put Happy down on his seat and walked away a bit, stopping with his back to the group and his head down. "It's hard for me to open up about the bad stuff. Ask me about Igneel and I can give you story after story. Thinking about him doesn't hurt this bad because I understand what he was doing when he left me. But A-amara and J were a different story. Everything was fine with us. We were happy. I was falling for them, not as intensely as most people fall in love but I was content. I assume she told you we were into BDSM but I won't tell you specifics unless you really wanna know. We were doing a scene and it ended horribly. Something J said triggered a memory in me and I just...snapped."

Natsu paused and turned around. He could feel the apprehension on everyone behind him but what stuck out was the knowing look in Gray's eyes. "I turned to BDSM after having consensual sex the first time. It was with some girl who's name I can't remember, but I remember thinking that I didn't really want her to touch me. I think she noticed because she backed off and let me explore her body for awhile. She was pretty experienced and asked me to tie her up. Do you know what Shibari is?" He looked up again and saw that Lucy looked confused. "It's Japanese bondage. She talked me through it and made sure no knot was too tight, but after I was done I realized how hot it was. She looked beautiful sitting there like she was. We ended up spending a few hours with her showing me different knots and ropes before we actually got to having sex. It was good. As good as your first time can really be. She talked me through it all and as soon as I was done I left. I had a few partners after that but I always felt so unfulfilled. Until I saw her for the first time. I never stopped being...attracted to Lisanna. But she was so different. So when I saw Amara I followed her and ended up at that meeting."

Happy turned in his sleep and Natsu's breath caught. Sarah noticed this and walked over to Happy "I'll put him inside for a nap. I'm sure you would like to finish this conversation but I could use some sleep as well." She picked up the exceed and walked over to Natsu, giving him a quick peck on the lips before she went inside the house.

Natsu took his seat again and looked up at his friends with tears in his eyes. "I am so sorry I ran off like I did. I just felt so overwhelmed and didn't know how to handle it. I swear I was going to do the job but when I realized how close I was to Sarah I decided to stop and chat with her. You don't know how this feels…I feel so weak. I can't be in a committed relationship because I'm scared. But I'm tired of the one night stands. I just thought if I talked to someone who already knew maybe i could sort my head out. I didn't mean to worry you guys and I definitely didn't think you would follow me."

Gray had been taking in everything Natsu was saying and he definitely understood him better. Although Natsu trusted them now it took years before he actually started to talk to them about stuff. His hopes dreams and aspirations. But he had no idea about the deep rooted issues Natsu had.

"I'm not mad at you Natsu. You're one of my best friends! We're basically siblings! But now that we know the full story please don't do that again. It worries us. You don't have to put on a brave face in front of us. Ever." Lucy said while fighting back tears. She stood up and slowly walked over to Natsu and pulled him into a hug. Erza stood as well and joined them. "Talk to Gray." She whispered in his ear. "He has been so worried."

"Hey Erza wanna see if she has an extra room? I would like to sleep off some of this food before we head to the job!"

"Good idea Lucy. Let's go!"

The girls disappeared inside leaving just Natsu and Gray alone. Natsu refused to look up at Gray feeling too awkward to say anything to him yet. The ice mage knew he needed to be patient. He needed to be sensitive so he didn't run off again. Thinking back to the day before he decided an apology was as good a place as any to start.

"Hey, I still don't quite understand why you were so upset about the other night, but I am sorry I didn't think to clean up before popping in on you. I just saw the fire and was worried so I ran over as fast as I could."

"You don't have to apologize for that Gray. I had time to think about it. With the nightmare still fresh in my head I snapped without thinking. You are a grown man and allowed to do what and whoever you want."

Gray came closer to him and waited for him to look him in the eye before continuing. "I just have one question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to but at some point I want to know. Do you-do you have feelings for me?"

Natsu took a step back eyes wide and hands trembling. Holy crap! How did he just come right out and ask him that? On one hand, finally! He could open his heart and tell him how he felt. But on the other hand he was terrified. He never thought that he would get to this point with Gray. What if he didn't reciprocate his feelings and they stopped being friends? What if he did have some feelings towards Natsu and then he hurt him? He couldn't handle either one. Hurting Gray was something he never wanted to do, but he felt like he would explode if he didn't tell him.

"I— I uh. Yes. I do."

"Oh." Gray said pretty shocked. "Okay…"

"Yeah. I don't expect you to feel anything back but since you asked…"

"No I mean it's okay. I've never really looked at you that way but I would be lying if I said I didn't think you were attractive." Gray rubbed the back of his neck. What am I saying? Okay so he is sexy. Very sexy actually. But admitting that just opens another can of worms! What is he wants to date me? He didn't know if he could do that. We're rivals for gods sake!

Natsu took a seat by the fire again and sighed. "It's okay. I prepared myself for this. I just decided I would rather you know so then you could make the decision on if you wanted to still be friends with me or not. No hard feelings if you don't want to be. I totally understand."

Gray glared at him. "Why wouldn't I want to be friends with you anymore? You know I am bisexual. I have no issue with you having a crush on me…"

"It's not a fucking crush you damn Ice Princess. I am in love with you. I have been for years. Since way before I met them, I just didn't know how to tell you without ruining our friendship. And then when I was getting comfortable with the idea of telling you? You slept with Juvia. No way was I confessing then. I always thought y'all would end up together. I didn't want to possibly ruin your chance at happiness or embarrass myself."

Gray was floored. He is in love with me? That goes far beyond some crush. But when he really thought about it, it made sense. Everytime Gray would get drunk and hit on someone at a random bar Natsu would get pissed and insist they had to leave. Juvia would start with her "Gray-sama" crap and Natsu would get angry and either pick a fight with Gray or storm out of the guild. Hell he couldn't even remember the last time he got in a fight with anyone alone because the dragon slayer always joined in. He took punches for him whether fighting a member of Fairy Tail or some enemy. He caught him blushing and looking in his direction a few times but when he looked around someone was almost always behind him.

"Gray, if you don't stop soon you'll be naked."

What? Oh shit. Not realizing it he had stripped down to just his boxers again. Quickly throwing his clothes back on he started thinking of what he could do. Losing Natsu as a friend wasn't an option. They fought a lot but that was fun for both of them! Sparring was a sort of release for them both and they always left tired and sweaty but very happy. So the way he saw it, he had two options. He could ignore Natsu's feelings, and hope that their friendship didn't become strained. Unrequited love had a way of pushing people apart. Or he could take the plunge and see what being intimate with the dragon would be like. Not giving himself a chance to second guess he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to the dragon slayers.


	6. Chapter six: Patience

Natsu was getting nervous. He had just told Gray that he was in love with him. Damn it. He could have just let Gray believe it was just a little crush. Atleast at that point he could play it off as no big deal when Gray said he wanted to just stay friends. As all these thoughts were running through his mind, he realized that Gray was stripping. He only does that when he is anxious or lost in thought, "Gray, if you don't stop soon you'll be naked."

He watched as Gray seemed to come back in the moment and was entranced by the light blush that covered Gray's cheeks. He is so cute, Natsu thought. Well no hard feelings. If he was stripping he must be uncomfortable with the thought of Natsu being in love with him. The dragon slayer was so lost in thought drowning in self pity that he didn't even see Gray walk up to him. He looked up surprised about to ask what he was doing when he felt Gray's cold hands cup his cheeks and then all rational thought left his mind as a pair of cold lips pressed against his. Holy fucking shit is he kissing me?! Natsu was stunned! What do I do? I don't want to get too excited and chase him off. But this could be the only chance I get to show him how I feel. Deciding to be brave Natsu groaned and kissed him back. He enjoyed the coldness of Gray's lips and tilted his head back further to deepen the kiss a bit. Natsu nibbled Gray's bottom lip and when he gasped Natsu slipped his tongue into his mouth. He could taste the fish and mushrooms they had for lunch but that was immediately covered up by Gray's scent and smell. He couldn't believe how wrong he was. Sarah had nothing on this man. He tasted like mint and smelled like pine. It completely overwhelmed his senses. Everything else was blocked out by the desire to consume this man. To burn him up from the inside out. Oh how he wanted this to last forever. Wrapping one hand around the back of Gray's head he gripped his hair, using the other arm to wrap around his waist, he pulled him closer so that Gray was pressed tightly against him. Gray let out a little moan and pulled Natsu as well, shocking the dragon slayer and bringing him back to earth.

Roughly pulling away and panting he looked at the ice mage anxious and scared.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't expecting you to kiss me and I got too rough…"

Gray wiped his mouth with the back of his hands and locked eyes with Natsu. "It was fine I was enjoying it. You're not the only one who enjoys things rough." Hearing the lust in Gray's voice was almost too much for the dragon slayer as he stared at him with hope and desire in his eyes.

He enjoyed it? He liked kissing me? Taking a quick peek at the house to make sure no one was watching he grabbed Gray's hand and took him into the forest, just enough so that they could be alone. "I am definitely not complaining about it, but why did you kiss me? You said you hadn't ever thought of me in that way, but then you kiss me." Natsu had his head down with his fingers gingerly touching his lips. Gray stayed where he was watching his reactions and said, "I wasn't trying to be insensitive but I figured a kiss was the easiest way to tell if I was attracted to you sexually or not. I knew if you saw it coming I might get nervous and change my mind. So I just went for it. Is that okay?"

"YES! *ahem* I mean yeah it's fine. I was just shocked is all. So-you liked it?"

Instead of answering Gray walked over and grabbed Natsu's hand and placed it on his rapidly growing erection, he moaned at the warmth he felt, "Very much so, might be the best kiss I have ever had. Your mouth is so hot." Natsu feeling brave grabbed his erection and stroked his hand down the thick length. "I'm glad. Look, we can go slow. I don't want to scare you off, but I want this. I want you. I have issues with commitment but I want to work through them, can we try this? I am willing to go as slow or as fast as you want. I don't need exclusivity but I want you. I want to see where this can go."

Gray felt his knees buckle. Gods his hand was hot, but it wasn't enough. "Yes please! We can talk over the specifics later but I want to touch you too." Not waiting for a response Gray reached over and cupped Natsu through his pants and kissed him again. This time the kiss wasn't meek or gentle it was rough and filled with passion Gray had never felt before. He felt Natsu battling for dominance and let him have it, melting into his touch.

Natsu pulled back and looked at Gray. He was panting and his eyes were half closed with lust. Moving slowly he undid Gray's pants. When the ice mage didn't move to stop him he pulled them and let them drop to the ground. He glanced up to make sure he was still okay. Gray had locked in on Natsu's face and was waiting to see how far he was going to take this. Discreetly sniffing the air Natsu could smell nothing but curiosity and arousal on Gray and decided to keep going until he stopped him. If he stopped him.

"I have waited so long to be able to do this. To watch you lose yourself in all I can offer you. You don't have to touch me. This is enough. I just wanna watch you lose it."

Gray groaned at his lust filled voice and focused on Natsu's hand. He had a firm grip but not too tight and the heat, oh the heat. Who would have thought the ice mage would enjoy this? He bit his lip to hold back a moan as Natsu began to jerk him off. Natsu noticed and pulled his lip out of his teeth. "Don't. Don't hold back. I can hear if anyone gets too close to us, right now everyone is inside asleep. Let me hear you Gray, moan for me." Picking up the pace but still going slow enough to ride this out Natsu locked his eyes on Gray's face. Loving the way he whimpered and his eyes kept closing as he found pleasure in what Natsu was doing to him. The dragon slayer dropped to his knees in front of him and Gary's eyes snapped open. "Is this okay? Tell me if I need to stop." He placed a few experimental kisses on the head of Gray's dick and smiled when he heard him gasp. "No it's good, it's mmm real good."

"Good. Don't close your eyes. Look at me. Watch as I suck you off." Natsu licked his lips and placed just the tip in his mouth lightly sucking on it loving the taste of Gray. He still used his hand and pumped up and down his dick stopping every now and then to look up and make sure the ice mage's eyes were still on him. He grabbed Gray's hands and placed them on the back of his head. "You don't have to be gentle with me. Fuck my mouth Gray." Gray moaned and gripped Natsu's hair before pushing his dick further into that hot mouth. Natsu sucked in rhythm with Gray thrusting into his mouth. His eyes began to water but he pushed further taking Gray straight into the back of his throat. Gray's hands stilled and when Natsu swallowed with his tip in the back of his throat Gray let out a loud moan. This feels like heaven! Gray looked down at Natsu and was filled with appreciation for the dragon slayer. Natsu pulled back and spit the saliva he had gathered onto his hands before stroking his dick again. Licking his lips again he said, "Do you know what Olfactophilia is?" seeing him shake his head no he continued, still stroking his dick. "It's defined as sexual arousal from smells or odors, especially from sexual areas." He stopped and buried his nose in Grays crotch, "and fuck you smell good. I always wondered what you would smell like. Right now it's a combination of arousal, sweat and mint. I swear I could do this all day long and never tire of it." He then took Gray back into the back of his throat, using one of his hands to gently massage Grays balls. "Mmm Natsu I'm gonna come. Please keep doing that.." Natsu sucked harder and used his hand to stroke the base of Grays dick. A few pumps later and Gray's grip on Natsu's head had gotten tighter and Natsu could smell his oncoming orgasm. He forced Gray's dick into the back of his throat again and began to swallow, almost immediately Gray came shuddering and looking down at Natsu with admiration. He struggled to keep his eyes open but he was determined not to miss a second of this erotic sight. Natsu was on his knees in front of Gray, with wet eyes and swollen lips, swallowing his come. Fuck! That was hot. When he was finished he yanked the dragon slayer up onto his feet and kissed him. Not caring that he could taste himself in Natsu's mouth. Just wanting and needing the physical contact. Breaking apart to catch his breath, Gray noticed Natsu had a very satisfied but smug look on his face.

"What's that look for flame brain?" Gray could tell he was proud of himself, hell Gray couldn't remember the last time someone had made him come that fast, but he honestly couldn't help it. Watching Natsu, the proud dragon that he was, suck and choke on his dick had been too much. Pair that with his hot mouth and calloused fingers cupping his balls and he knew he was done for.

"Oh nothing, just watching you. You make the sexiest faces when you moan, and when you come your nose crinkles up and you let out little gasps of air. It's extremely sexy, and right now with your hair a mess and your cheeks flushed you look downright beautiful Ice Princess."

Gray felt his face heating up and tried to turn away but Natsu was having none of that. He grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you Gray. So much. I can't even tell you how long I have dreamt of doing that for you. Thank you for trusting me with that much."

Gray felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and hugged him back. Maybe he could do this. Holding Natsu felt really nice and honestly he fit in his arms perfectly. They would definitely have to move into the relationship stuff slowly, Gray wasn't one for actual dating, but he was okay with them fooling around and getting a feel for what it would be like to date.

Keeping that in mind, he pulled back far enough to see his face before saying, " Natsu, I am open to trying with you. I just need to be able to take things slow. We will both need to be patient. But I trust you. And I know you won't push me into something I am not ready for. How about after we do this job we go on a date? We could do to dinner or maybe see a movie?"

"Yes! I would love to Gray!"

"Okay it's a date. But I will say this, I take who I sleep with very seriously. If we are going to be dating I expect you to sleep with no one but me unless I know about it first. I don't want any diseases and I can be quite possessive."

Natsu growled low in his throat, "Trust me I have no issues with that, as far as I see it you're mine now."

Gray's breath caught looking at the serious look on his face. So he already considered them to be together? Surprisingly it didn't freak Gray out like he thought it would. It made him feel kinda nice to be thought of as Natsu's boyfriend. Now what though? Do they act like nothing happened between them when they joined the others? Would they approve or would they think that they were moving too fast? Shit would Sarah be able to tell right off the bat?

Natsu cleared his throat, "If it's okay with you, I would like to be honest with the group. We don't have to say anything more than I confessed and we decided to go on a date when we get back to Magnolia, but Sarah will more than likely know anyways. But only if that's okay with you."

Natsu looked at Gray and Gray felt so secure in that gaze. He nodded his head, "That's completely fine with me. But I think we should probably fix our clothing before someone wakes up and wonders where we went."

Natsu laughed but agreed and once their pants were on correctly he reached over and pushed a lock of hair out of Gray's face. "Seriously Gray, thank you."

"You already said that fire crotch."

"Mmm fire crotch, you seemed to like it earlier or did you already forget?"

Gray blushed and yanked his hand out of his grasp. "Hey! Shut up! That's so embarrassing!"

"Why it's not like anyone can hear us? Besides you said you liked my heat. Do you already need a reminder?" Not waiting for a response he kissed him again, warming up his mouth just a little and chuckling when he felt Gray shiver. "Okay fine you win that one, let's just get back."

Walking hand in hand they made it back to the cabin, lightly pushing each other and mumbling insults. All was as it should be. And the entire time Natsu had a huge smile on his face. Only this time it reached his eyes.


End file.
